How To Break Away From The Victim Triangle
Updated: Feb 22
If you are constantly running in circles with people and nothing is ever changing then this is for you, so get comfy, think with a open mind and take in some knowledge from someone who has been there.
The victim triangle is one of the most daunting things families face and the reason I say that is because that's why we see families or even in our own families where people don't change. They constantly make the same mistakes and do the same hurtful things to themselves or to the people that they love and to the people who want nothing more then to love them and want the best for them. We all have been the victim, the persecutor or the enabler at one point in our lives.
I got out of this cycle once I started taking responsibility for my own actions and realized how I was treating people wasn't okay. It took me a very long time to get out of that never ending loop and it wasn't an easy thing to do. It's much easier to point the finger at someone else then it is to actually look yourself in the mirror and really see who you really are at that moment in your life. Once you look and actually look not just taking a glance you will have a rush of emotions of guilt and ah- ha moments that will make you take a step back and realize that you were the center of all of your problems from the jump. Being a victim is exhausting and does you no good. So stop playing that card. It get's very old after awhile.
The next thing is the persecutor who always has to point the finger and stir the pot. They tend to say well if you didn't do this then I wouldn't have done that. It's almost like the persecutor is a narcissist. When you're stuck in this you will be very angry at the world and everyone around you and to be honest you're only going to drag yourself down. You might break someones heart along the way because of the horrible things you might say to get out of situations that you put yourself in and be prepared that not everyone will welcome you back with open arms once you figure out that this isn't who you truly are. So if you fit into this category you need to make changes and stick with them because you can lose a lot of things that are good for you by acting this way. Take accountability for yourself and your own actions. Enough is enough!
The enabler is someone who babies those that they love and care about because they don't want to hurt their feelings and or they want to keep them miserable because misery loves company. Anyone who feeds into the victim is literally making the problem 10 times worse and a victim can't be the victim if nobody gives them the attention that they want. If you are an enabler please stop you're not helping, you're actually making the situation more severe and the victim will never stop being the victim if people feed into the BS of it.
My tips for you are the following:
Number 1- Stop blaming the world for your issues. Be the change you want to see!
Number 2- Treat people with respect and no one owes you a damn thing.
Number 3- Bad things happen to everyone, it's okay to open up and vent but it's not okay to be rude and hurtful towards others just because you hurt.
Number 4- Learn how to love yourself. Once you have self respect lots of other aspects in your life will fall into place.
Number 5- Don't surround yourself with people who are okay with never moving up in life. Always strive for better. Those who don't have ambition tend to do nothing to better themselves and if you want out of this cycle you need positive, motivated people to get to where you want to be.
Change is scary, I won't lie about that. I will also tell you it's worth it and god doesn't throw things our way that he doesn't think we can handle. If you end up realizing that who you have around are bad for you don't think about how they will feel if you cut ties, think about where you will go and who you will become once you cross that bridge. Positive mindsets, goals, ambition are things that drive people and if you want to be apart of that stop playing the blame game, the poor me game, and the not taking accountability game. It's old, time to grow up and put on your adult pants and do the right thing and work hard and things will fall into place.